Patty Fran, the Graduate Man

“The Long and Winding Road”

                Tomorrow, our third and our final child will put on his cap and gown and cross that stage at Coastal Carolina University. He will gather a piece of paper that tells him all he has accomplished and all he has to look forward to.

                 The four of us will be there, wide smiles, a few tears, an enormous amount of pride and most important an enormous amount of Pat Burke memories.

                As a point of reference, you will see many names in this blog that we have for Patrick… Patty Fran, Patty Fran the Magic Man, Patty Cakes,  P Fran Magic, Pat, Patrick…. and as his mother calls him (which he loves most of all  lol)… Bubby!!!

                Let’s reflect on a few on the P Fran memories…..

                                                

Memory #1 – “THIS BOY”

                 I can clearly remember the day we found out Monica was pregnant with number 3. I was feeding Hannah who was six months old and Kaylen, who had just turned two the week prior, was climbing up the couch for some Daddy time.

                Monica came into the living room and told me that number three would arrive in early October.

                The story I tell is I cried, but truly as I think back, I was thrilled. So many people asked us if we were “trying for a boy” but truly, it did not matter to us. Bridget or Paige Burke (it would have been a fight) would have been a fine addition. It did, however, matter to my Dad who had 8 grandchildren who he loved dearly, but no “Burke Boys”... No pressure Dad!

                Monica survived one of the hottest summers on record in our un-air-conditioned Warwick RI home with a two and one year old and on September 27, 1994, our son, our baby boy, Patrick Francis Burke arrived. The Burke name would live on for at least one more generation!!! Papa Burke was pleased. We were thrilled. He was named after his Papa Lydon (Lopsey), with whom he shares his traits of quiet kindness and honest character.

                I am not saying the girls were difficult, but Patrick was “off the charts good” as a baby. He literally slept up to 17 hours a day, waking up only for his bubbas, a diaper change and a few heart wrenching smiles. At one point our neighbors, who wanted to see him, wondered if we made the whole pregnancy up!!!!

                He truly was a beautiful baby…it was God’s gift to us knowing we had three kids under three… THIS BOY was a true blessing.

                                                                       

MEMORY #2 – “ALL TOGETHER NOW”

                The toddler years for Patrick were a blur; he was the “carry on” as we started to take his big sisters to dance classes, T ball, and school. He never complained about waiting around, never whined about having to go place to place. It was almost like he knew his turn would come.

                From a very early age, you could witness the love he had for his big sisters. He was happy just to be included in their escapades…Kaylen would boss him, Hannah would take advantage of him…and it would be years before he caught on.

                Dressed in headbands and other miscellaneous costumes, that boy tried his best be a dancer or a Spice Girl, or just be one with his sisters. Soon, his three year old heart learned to find his own fun….his pirate ship, his sailor hat, his Arthur tapes, his “Ernie Gets Lost” book on tape, his Legos…..

                 One day, after packing the car for a day at the beach, it wasn’t until we pulled the car out of the driveway on Jonathan Court that we realized he was still in his crib. We ran back in and stuffed him in the Hyundai.  As I look back, we knew in our hearts that Patrick would be our last child, we never felt that three kids in three years was a bad thing, it’s just somehow Patrick completed the family. We were the five of us, “ALL TOGETHER NOW”.  And our story continued……

                                                

Memory #3 – “BECAUSE”

                Ask any of the four of us what we remember most about Patrick as a toddler and in each of our top five would be his insatiable desire to ask questions and more questions, and more questions. As a family, we probably logged 100,000 miles living in Toronto, Pittsburg, and Fort Mill and travelling home to Massachusetts. Trust me when I say, there was a question per mile coming from that back car seat.

                 The content did not matter, he just loved asking them. We finally just started answering “BECAUSE”!! Monica and I talk often about how we sometimes miss those long rides in the car, we knew where everyone was, we knew everyone was safe and most important, and we were together.

                                                                        

Memory #4 –“BABY’S IN BLACK” (and gold)

                It was during the elementary school years that Patrick learned his love for being outside, sports and friends. In Pittsburgh he would literally go out before ten in the morning, come home for a quick lunch and then go back out until dinner.

                 Football, basketball, any ball at all ….as long as he was with his buddies. It was also in Pittsburgh where he found his love for the (ahem) Pittsburgh Steelers (sob). I often think about the harassing he withstood from his relatives and our friends back home for not being a Patriots fan. His Buddy and our friend, Don A admired his tenacity so much that to this day, they remain close…they bleed “BLACK” and gold together at a yearly game.

                There is nothing that could ever be said by any of us that would lessen his love for his beloved Steelers!!!  As much as we wanted him to be a Patriots fan, it always told us something about Pat seeing his sense of loyalty to his team, he reveals that same part of his character often to his friends and family…he is the epitome of a loyal son, a loyal brother, a loyal friend.

                Because I travelled, Pat was often the man of the house, a role he took very seriously, especially taking care of his Mom. One day, a bad storm was coming; Pat was probably 12 or 13. He took every pillow in the house and put them in the half bath so his Mom would be safe. …and with him, she always was.

                                                          

MEMORY #5 – “HELLO GOODBYE”

                Moving to Fort Mill, South Carolina seemed to be an easy decision, we all decided it was a great move together ….but I will never forget watching Pat say goodbye to his neighborhood buddies on Stonewood Drive. They were like brothers to him, how would we ever be able to duplicate that for him?? How would he ever find the friendships we had taken from him? He sobbed much of the drive to Charlotte and it was one of those moments as a parent we could do nothing for him but let him be sad. It was a sad “GOODBYE”.

                Monica and I worked feverishly to get the three kids settled in Fort Mill, ask them and they will tell you the horror of us signing them up for neighborhood youth group, church teen nights and anywhere else we thought they could find a friend. I will forever remember one Saturday seeing Pat jump on his bike and when he was asked where he was going, his 7^th grade self said “I am going to find some friends”.

                Well, he sure did find friends, the same friends he had all through high school. Though they all went their separate ways for college, they remain true brothers to this day. These boys are now men, second sons to Mon and I. They are finishing school, starting careers, attending grad school and facing the world.

                 However, when they do get together, you can’t help but remember the scheming, immature, crazy things these guys used to do.  I am sure Monica and I along with the other parents are only aware of 20% of it all. You cannot help but miss it.

                We are confident these brothers will be friends for life, we will see them and someday their families every Thanksgiving night for a drink and a song. Just from a simple bike ride and a friendly “HELLO”.

                                                                  

               

MEMORY #6 – “IT WON’T BE LONG”

                I feel like that for his entire life, P Fran was always being told “IT WON’T BE LONG”… before you go to high school….before you  drive….get a job…..go to college…, graduate.  Being the third, he has never been the first to accomplish anything, always third, (he did, however get caught having a party at the house while we were away, THAT was a first and a second) !!

                Seriously, he has spent years watching his sisters reach those milestones first.  However, it won’t be long before Pat starts graduate school, next month to be exact….and that will be a first in our family. We are very proud of this accomplishment.

                College was a perfect fit for Patrick, and from his freshman year pledging bald head to his role as Vice President of Kappa Sig Fraternity, P. Fran Magic learned so much about life. He still lives with his roommates from freshman year, I know he will miss them and I know they will be friends for life. It is simply the way Pat is!

                                                    

Memory #7 – “TILL THERE WAS YOU”

            In a few short days Patrick Francis Timothy Burke, your graduation will become a memory; it has certainly been nothing less than a privilege watching you grow up from that little sailor to the man wearing that cap and gown. Your personality and sense of humor is a blessing to our family and all of the people who love you in this world.

                In the cluster of emotions you are feeling this week; sadness, hope, worry, happiness, relief and the feeling you cannot  get your head around all of that is in front of you….we want you to stop, breathe and remember the four of us who are right there with you. Your grandparents are all looking down, grateful to have you as part of their legacy, they love you very much and are toasting you and all you have done.

                We appreciate and love everything about you and while so much of your world will change, so many times, that will always be a constant.

                 We never laughed so much in our home P Fran Magic, “TILL THERE WAS YOU”

            “THERE’S A PLACE” for you Pat, life will take you in a million different directions, some planned, some not.  Always remember that good things happen to good people, that “YESTERDAY” is only as important as the memories shared and lessons learned, that the “LONG  and WINDING ROAD” passes by Esther Court, forever your home….and please remember some very wise words from your favorite fab four….”for tomorrow may rain, so, I’ll follow the sun”

            We love you and are very proud of you Patty Fran, HTAA

            Mom, Dad, Kaylen, Hannah and Buddy the Cat