Kathleen T. Burke

Eulogy - St John's Church, Worcester, Ma.

2/10/16

June 29, 1928 - February 6, 2016

          Good Morning family and friends of our Mom, Kay Burke. It is hard to express the gratitude we feel for the calls, notes, texts, warm wishes, and expressions of sympathy you sent us over the past week. As a family we have always known how blessed we are to have the friends and family we have, weeks like this past one verify it.

          I personally would like to thank my siblings for the time, love and care they gave to my Mom since my father died. Living over 800 miles away, it was always a great feeling to know that she was loved and cared for and not alone as so many are. I never had to worry about her once and I know our dad was thrilled with all that was done for her.

          Kathleen Theresa Doran was born on June 29^th, 1928 at Memorial Hospital. Her mom and dad, John and Josie, brought her home to their home to 69 Prospect St where she joined her brother John and sisters Mary and Phinney. When asked, our mother would speak of her childhood with great affection, always about her mother’s baking and especially when she spoke of her dad who she loved so very much. Years after he died, she seldom spoke of him without filling up with tears. Our mom was brought up with strong faith, a faith that remained with her intensely, her whole life.

          Kay graduated from Sacred Heart Academy in 1946; second in her class…the joke always was that there were only 8 kids in her class due to the war. During her senior year, she took secretarial classes and was able to get a job at Washburn Wire Co on Lincoln Square as Executive Secretary. With her radiant blue eyes and beautiful auburn hair, Kay would walk through the factory where she caught the eye of an older woman named Johanna Burke who would tell her son Eddie about her and how she was not snobby and said hello to everyone no matter what position they had in the factory.

          Ironically, my mom unknowingly knew her son….Eddie worked at Corbin’s Pharmacy a block down on Main St as a soda jerk…and our mom thought he was the best looking guy she ever saw. Unfortunately for her, so did many other young ladies so my mom would order a strawberry sundae with chocolate ice cream to stand out….but she said it never worked.

          Until one day, on the trolley home from work, Eddie sat down next to Kay, asked her on a date to Mechanics Hall and the rest is Kay and Ed Burke history. They married in October, 1948 and because her father passed away two months before her wedding and her mom five months after, she never once moved out of 69 Prospect St, raised six children, 11 grandchildren and soon she will welcome her 11^th great grandchild.

          Imagine 28 descendants that came from that simple strawberry Sunday and trolley ride.

          Some people knew our Mom as a teacher at Head Start, St George’s or Mount Carmel; she loved that job and always shared her stories about the kids and the laughs she had with those she worked with. Knowing my mom it seemed to be an odd career choice, teaching a room full of three and four year old children. When you saw her in action, you saw that she ran her classroom much like our home…..respect, discipline, warm laps and big hugs.

          Some here knew our Mom as Aunt Kay….the big hello, big hug Aunt who somehow made you feel special in a unique way and along with Uncle Ed, never missed an event in your life along with knitted aphghans and baby sets for you and yours. There are way too many of you to mention, you know who you are.

          Some knew her as a friend…she had many of the same friends since she was a child. Going through pictures I found many with her and Ruthie Capite who lived next door. Their friendship lasted well over 80 years. Franny Campbell, Peggy Mara, the list goes on….and each of them remained a part of her life…she had some newer friends…only 40-70 years….Sonny Carelli, Aggie Cavanagh , Ann Lewandowski and countless others…for those of you who are here, we thank you for the friendship you shared with our mom. For those of you who are not…what a time you must be having up there. Our mom and dad taught us the value of true friendship, having fun, treating friends like family…so evident to us during this past week.

          Some of you knew her as a patient, but the word was soon replaced by friend or better yet, relative. I do not know if there are any Nursing Home workers who are out there. But if there are, we all would like to give you a  thank you for the love and care you gave and the dignity and respect you treated her and treat countless other with…you are truly angels in this world. Alzheimer’s was a cruel and vicious enemy to our mom, but she faced it with the same dignity and respect she did with all things in her life. We often say, it was a strange blessing her never really understanding the loss of our dad and the loss of our brother Rich she simply would never have been the same.

          Five of you knew her as your mother in law, and I remember how she always bragged about how much she loved all five of you and what a great job we had done finding partners in life.

   

          11 grandchildren and almost 11 great grandchildren….knew her as Gram or Mee Mee….the best chocolate chip cookie making, hugging grandmother ever. She loved seeing you all come into this world, attend your sporting events and shows and sacraments….and grow into successful leaders, teachers, parents and students you have become.…you can be sure she is watching you and your families, praying for all your futures dreams. She loved each of you so very very much.

          One lucky man who is not here today, knew Kay Burke as his wife, his partner, his true love. I find it hard not to repeat the words said in my father’s eulogy…they were a team, strong and indivisible, kind to each other and those around them. For 60 years from the trolley to the day he passed away, you could not help but feel the love they had for each other.

          And the five of us , and our brother Rich who I am sure is watching us all, she was simply Ma, Mom…we can all see her to this day in her housecoat, with tissues up her sleeve and safety pin hanging from her pocket, putting our heads on her lap to fix an earache, crying with each special moment, surprise, hello and good bye , sitting on the deck with a cup of coffee doing the morning crossword or a nice gin and tonic!!!

Ma taught us many things:

1.      Who cares if you don’t have a great voice if you are singing with the one you love

2.      You are never too short or small to drive a big Cadillac

3.      You can indeed watch the news, sleep and knit all at the same time

4.      You only really need one chocolate chip to make a chocolate chip cookie

5.      You don’t have to be in the front row of church to let God know you are there

6.      The rosary is a mighty powerful prayer

7.      Every crossword puzzle and word search can be completed, even if it is with a little help

8.      Clear mugs for tea, solid for coffee

9.      It takes a long time to spread out the perfect pizza dough but it is worth it

10. Cunnin is indeed a word

But most of all she taught us how to love, for there was no greater love than the love she had for our dad, Ed Burke….she was so proud to be his wife and walk through life beside him. The six of us and our families will always be grateful for that example …we are so happy that they can be together again

The most ironic piece of our mothers passing was that last Thursday, her first full day in Hospice, our family home, the one newborn Kathleen Doran was brought home to in 1928 was sold to a new family who moved in Saturday, the day Kay Burke left this world.

That home meant the world to my mother, 90 years and six generations of Hanley descendants walked those floors, sang in those rooms, slept in those beds….we wish the new family as much love and memories as we have

There is a quote from a movie that always reminds me of my mom who loved nothing more than being in her own home, in her own bed. It says:

“If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with”

Rest now Mom, we know how happy you are to be with dad again and we could not be happier for you both. Until we meet again Ma, we love you.

If my dad was here, he would start a big applause for kay Burke…let’s hear it!!!