Kaylen's Graduation

May, 2013

My daughter Kaylen is graduating from college tomorrow. She will put on that black gown, that familiar cap, a tassel… with different colors this time. She will walk into that venue at University of South Carolina with that long mane of gold hair, those beautiful gold eyes, and that same smile that wowed me back when she was a baby.

She will be one of thousands of graduates, and I will be one of many Dads cheering them on. Somehow, the five of us will be the only ones there for me, much like it has always been for us. 

All of the clichés will come to mind, “where did the years go”….”wasn’t it just yesterday”?? Yes, time has moved fast but in some ways, it is a slow moving journey.

We named Kaylen after my mother, Kay, and my mother in law, Helen. It’s funny how she took the pieces of the both of them that made them special, Helen’s gentleness and kindness, Kay’s spirit and no nonsense approach to life. They would be so very proud of the woman she has become, and her Papas would be too. It saddens me they are not here in person to see all of this, but they will be there in spirit, of that I am certain.

Our life together as the Burke family is a series of little moments embedded deeply in my mind and heart. Naturally, the big moments of Kaylen growing up stand out, but it is the little moments that bring the biggest smile on my face. I can still see her getting ready for her first day of nursery school, her mother brushing her hair in the mirror. She had that look of anticipation that she has to this day, her eyes wide open and a half bent smile that said “I am afraid, but I can do this.”

 I remember well, her first day at Fort Mill High School… I can see her worry and fear, the “new kid.”  I remember how she took that school by storm, and how quickly she accepted her new life in South Carolina and helped make Fort Mill home for us all. If there was ever a Senior Superlative for kindness or integrity, it for sure would have been hers.

I remember how she wanted to wheel my father to dialysis at St. Vincent’s in his wheelchair. I can remember staring at her and how happy she was to have just a moment with him and him alone, and he felt the same.  I stayed back, I just followed, and I will never forget that sight as long as I live.

You see, Kay was our test child for parenting, we measured her every move and her every word. She was the first one to have a sleepover, go to a sleepover, first girl/ boy party, first cellphone, first loves, first broken heart, first off to college, first driver, first to have a job, first to get grounded.…..well, simply first everything.She was a great ground breaker for Hannah and Patrick; she was the Union Steward of the house and represented them well. 

She would argue about the unfairness of our home, naturally we were too strict!!  All kids should have a TV and computer in their room, new cars, unlimited TV and later bedtimes...the list goes on of the demands that never happened. Management ruled.

We would sit together for dinner each night and often would have these world famous debates and arguments about homework and honors classes, curfews and chores. Many would end in tears and stomps up the stairs, but we never went to bed mad, or without saying I love you. She was easily irritated by Monica and I during those teen years, but equally as forgiving.

Every time she would be home for a weekend from college, I would get all teared up when she left to go back to Columbia. I never quite understood why, 70 miles is close, but I could never help it. I attributed it to my midlife crisis and my inability to cope with change. As graduation day approaches, I now understand why. Kaylen was our first…and she will be our first to leave us. It closes a very important chapter in our parenting, and I cannot help to be a bit sad about it.

 Who knows where this life will take her, she has so much to offer some lucky hotel company, much to offer her current friendships with old friends and some new friends she has yet to meet. And… yes she has much to share with some lucky man who will share his life with her. God willing, some lucky children will call her Mom… I already consider them to be very blessed.

 I no longer worry about Kaylen. She has survived lost loves, difficult teachers, untrue friends, and others who broke her heart.  But ask her and she will tell you she has seen the best in people, her spirit has remained unbroken, her optimism is intact. There are so many friends and family members that have given her love and support and kindness and memories. Every one of them has played an important part in the graduate who will cross that stage tomorrow. Monica and I thank you, you know who you are.

Kaylen has done a great job raising Monica and I as parents, the rookies who learned so much from her, and we are so very proud to call her our daughter. And the five of us will celebrate this and many more big events….and will always remember to hold the small moments close to our hearts.

Eyes wide open Kay?  You can do this……

Love,

Mom & Dad

HTAA

May, 2013